SCREW #1,280, cover art by Danny Hellman

A recent cover illo of mine for New Mexico alt weekly SANTA FE REPORTER seems to have ticked off some local Catholics, (as reported on ABC affiliate KOAT: http://www.koat.com/news/new-mexico/albuquerque/our-lady-of-guadalupe-in-bikini/-/9153728/20701882/-/15nvur2/-/index.html). In the interest of letting no wound go unsalted, I thought this might be the appropriate time to post one of my blasphemous SCREW covers. 

The Catholic Church and SCREW, (whose pages were, after all, dedicated in large part to hooker ads) would seem to be natural enemies, and cover art razzing the church was always welcome at the World's Greatest Newspaper. In the Fall of '93, Pope John Paul II was on a world tour, which prompted publisher Al Goldstein to call for a cover and two page comic strip depicting the pontiff as "Pope Man," a Catholic caped crusader. As would happen on countless occasions, the task of translating Goldstein's inspiration into lines on paper fell upon my humble shoulders, and in this instance at least, revisiting the drawing two decades later is not so terribly painful for me.

SCREW #1,280 is dated September 13th, 1993. Art direction by Kevin Hein.

SCREW #1339: At His Satanic Majesty's Request

For those of you who may have been wondering, "when's Hellman gonna post one of his own covers?," here's one of mine. While I don't want this blog to degenerate into my own personal egomaniacal thrill ride, I will occasionally weaken and post my own work, especially when requested to do so by a reader. In this instance, that reader is none other than former SCREW editor, the notorious David Aaron Clark.

I spent innumerable hours up at SCREW's office during the'90s shooting the shit with Dave Clark, gassing about movies, comics, and just plain gossiping. I did more than a few freebie drawings for Clark's numerous extracurricular projects, including posters for his band False Virgins.

I'll never forget the sight of Clark and his colleague, SCREW editor John Walsh rolling around on the office floor, wrestling. I'm not sure what inspired the impromptu bout, (most likely a disagreement over punctuation) but the moment was charged with the same blistering sensuality that made Ken Russell's film "Women In Love" a classic in the annals of erotic cinema.

I also fondly remember a bit of graffiti scrawled on the wall in SCREW's tiny elevator vestibule that read "Dave Clark eats turds." Shortly after the graffiti appeared, the clever SCREW editor deftly altered it to read, "Dave Clark Five beats The Byrds." Surely that took some kind of genius...?

Mr. Clark has long since moved far away to the West Coast to toil in the adult film industry, but a small piece of Dave still remains in my heart, leaving me with just one question: can anyone out there recommend a good cardiac surgeon?

SCREW #1339's cover features a drawing of Brazilian horror filmmaker & star José Mojica Marins, aka "Coffin Joe." I'm ashamed to admit that I have yet to make it all the way through any of Marins' films, but Clark is a Coffin Joe fan, hence his request to see this cover posted.

I can't say whether or not this drawing captures the vibe of Marins' films. I will say that, as Danny Hellman SCREW covers go, it's one of middling quality. Not a half-assed hack job, (of which there were many), but not one of my personal favorites, either. My attitude towards devil worship is one of sneering disdain, and I think the drawing's goofy depiction of Satanists reflects that. The color separation is adequate but not spectacular, and the registration on the red plate is clearly off. Possibly a treat for Coffin Joe fans, but not my proudest achievement by a long shot. Enjoy, Dave.